THE CASINO
anticipation with no payoff
FEEN'S LUCKY TICKETS (50-PACK)
$19.99Dosage100%
THE DECISION BALL
$24.99Dosage100%
THE BARE MINIMUM TROPHY
$29.99Dosage100%
more from the casino
the full index of bad decisionsEvery SKU currently stocked in the casino — anticipation with no payoff. Pick a specific dose below, or drift into a neighboring aisle further down.
- FEEN'S LUCKY TICKETS (50-PACK)CA-01 →
Fifty real scratch tickets. Fifty guaranteed losses. Two cherries and a lemon, forever. The thrill is real. The prize is not. Odds of winning, printed on every ticket: 0.000%.
- THE DECISION BALLCA-02 →
Twenty possible answers. All of them are 'one more.' Consult the ball. The ball has decided. The ball always decides the same thing.
- THE BARE MINIMUM TROPHYCA-03 →
Engraved gold-tone trophy: CONGRATULATIONS ON DOING THE BARE MINIMUM. You showed up. Technically.
spiral into another aisle
more ways to regret thisTHE ALTAR OF THE STIMULATED (7 CANDLES)
$129Dosage100%
CRASH SLEEP MASK
$19.99Dosage100%
CASINO CARPET AIR FRESHENER
$9.99Dosage100%
EMOTIONAL SUPPORT FEEN (BODY PILLOW)
$54.99Dosage100%
SINGLE SAINT CANDLE
$24.99Dosage100%
THE CRASH BLANKET
$49.99Dosage100%
CANNED DOPAMINE
$14.99Dosage100%
THE VOID PUZZLE (1,000 PIECES)
$34.99Dosage100%